Monday, April 17, 2006

Fuck This Pig

Take a look at this fucking pig. His name is Lee Raymond.

No, he’s no relation to Ryan Howard. But he made in one fell swoop in a "retirement" deal what our power-hitting first baseman could only hope to make in a whole career; more than what Scientology actor-freak Tom Cruise can probably raise in a lifetime of begging on Hollywood Boulevard to help rid the world of the evil Thetans:

Four hundred million dollars.

That’s right – four hundred million simoleans. Pretty good, huh?
Not bad considering what the fat fuck had to do to “earn” his pay. Namely, lording over Exxon, an energy conglomerate that has captive, auto-driving customers sticking his company’s nozzle in the ceaselessly-thirsty vagina (a.k.a. your gas tank) that fuels this fucked-up financialized economy, resplendent with clinically retarded “service workers” taking your order for artery-clogging fast food that you order in the drive-thru between paper-shuffling appointments that determine the well-being of our rapidly-aging work force, soon to be replaced by illegal immigrant workers crying for their “rights” as they labor at half – or less – the wage you got for generating the same elbow grease as a teenager.

You people suck.

And I’m not with it.

So, I want you to enjoy the rare 1-0 victory that Ryan Howard hath brought with his mammoth home run in the rubber match of the series in Colorado. Meditate upon the good feeling with which it has clothed our souls this Easter weekend.

And deep down, ruminate upon the hatred you feel for rich fuckers like Lee Raymond, our heavenly father. Damn him to hell. May his soul rot as surely as the paper his money is printed on.

Fuck Lee Raymond.

Fuck the Mets.


Anonymous ChuckM said...

In addition to his obvious gluttony, this hunk of barnyard flesh is also lazy. You would think that somebody who is collecting $400 mil would at least fix his cruddy teeth or have that glob hanging from under his chin liposuctioned and lopped off by a plastic surgeon.

20/4/06 11:45 AM  

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