Saturday, September 16, 2006

Outta The Mouths Of Babes

Behold the innocence of childhood!

“We’re gonna win this game,” my son said in the top of the eighth inning today as the Phils piled on the runs. “And we’re gonna win the playoffs.”

At his age, an uncorrupted nine years, big disappointments consist of parental sugar withholding or video game restrictions. His mother and I have tried our best to shelter him from the foul influences of Phillies baseball, because we know it can lead to harder stuff. But it would be naïve to think the temptation to watch this team doesn’t exist.

Today, little Caesar watched the ball game with your host. Well, kind of. He’s a hyper kid, so Abe Nunez’s at-bats don’t exactly thrill him. Nor does seven innings of one-hit ball by our young ace Cole Hamels. But Ryan Howard? Now you’re talking.

“We’re gonna win the playoffs because Ryan Howard is our secret weapon,” he said as one of his kiddie peers in Houston reached over the outfield wall and stole a homer from The Howitzer. “He’s the best hitter in the league.”

Caesar was not the least bit happy about that kid spoiling Number 57 from our should-be MVP. Here he goes to school every day, our capable school system helping to build the critical foundations necessary for good citizenship. He knows that cheatin’ Texas waif, later seen crying his Astro eyes out, violated a number of societal rules in his misguided effort to catch the ball. And my son had an idea what we Phillies fans should do to exact justice, Hostile City style.

“We should kill him,” he confidently declared.

That’s my boy!


Blogger Maria said...

You've taught your son well. We'll all have to plan a trip down to Houston & hunt down that little son of a bitch. Who dares spoil a Ryan Howard HR?

16/9/06 7:10 PM  
Anonymous ChuckM said...

Lou, you and Mary are raising your
son properly. Yo, kids have to learn a lesson...NEVER interfere with a ball in play... Very pleased with the win today and no matter how this season ends up, I am happy the Phillies *finally* have a legitimate ACE. Cole MF Hamels... ps... what the frig happened to Lidge?...did that Pujols jack last October ruin his confidence for good?..Damn....

16/9/06 9:49 PM  
Anonymous JG said...

Hah. Lidge. It's looking as if he's certifiable. That Pujols moonshot last year pretty much punched his ticket to the rubber room. Perhaps the good doctor Grafenstein should pay him a visit. If the results parallel Burrell's he should be good for one more save.

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